well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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