I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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