you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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