it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
