you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize