I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They took my balls.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize