There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He did a backflip because drugs
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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