The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
