Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My ass is underappreciated
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
