Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
