Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize