butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
