I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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