It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
