don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You ate ashes out of my bong
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
