okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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