I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
