No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
