My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He better not be in your backpack
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
