Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

Fav 58 2133 743
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(908): View more from New Jersey

do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

Fav 219 1147 7237
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?

Fav 17 985 3791
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i love accidental penises.

Fav 16 3239 1306
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(919): View more from North Carolina

bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

Fav 29 1100 5030
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(949): View more from California

Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

Fav 12 1605 4539
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(740): View more from Ohio

omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

Fav 5 1742 719
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(713): View more from Texas

I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.

Fav 2 395 252
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(213): View more from California

At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick

Fav 0 58 20
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