They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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