Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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