Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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