1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
