I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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