Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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