Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
