wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
