Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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