If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
