Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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