this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
