how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
