And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
