2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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