people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
