Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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