my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
