have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
