Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
