Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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