You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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