I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
