what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize