the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
high people should be assigned attendants
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
