If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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