Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
