nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
