It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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