we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
did i walk over a car last night?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
