the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
