Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
