Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
