I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
