giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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