the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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