I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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