How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
