If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Randomize
